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I dont know how to begin..
Well yesterday was my birthday and it was almost perfect..
Sad thing is that my grandad died a week ago and it has been so hard.. I still cant believe that he is gone..
Birthday... well dont want to speak about it.. bcz in this moment i can't...
But there is another thing because it was almost perfect.. and the fact that i couldnt sleep tonight and that I'm crying now in my bed... I have really needed this sleep.. bcz i have to wake like in 45 minutes to study and it is 6:45 am ... so i've realized that i have to stop loving him.. i have to move on.. bcz im the one who is suffiring.. first he is ignoring me, second I asked him month ago to do something on my birthday.. i know that it is different situation now.. but he couldnt even be here... he sent me a msg first at 00:01.. and i thought it is enough but it wasnt.. i really need him.. and I know its my fault.. but he doesnt care.. he has moved on.. replaced me.. forgotten about me.. and I'm still here crying.. and I cant change a thing..
This post is short bcz I'm not in mood for writing something more... and this post doesnt contain any photo bcz it was written on my phone... but if it had any photo it would have a photo of bleeding heart...

Spring is here..

I'm in that part of my life where I don't know what to do with it.. I'm not intrested in anything, I like staying home, watching series, reading books.. There is school and it is ending soon... and I have to go to further education.. so i'm not studying or anything..
My b-day is coming soon and i'm kinda excited about it but on the other side I'm not... I'm a year older and that's not good...
I'm turning 19 in less than 10 days.. and I know I'm not the same person I was last year or any other year.. I gave up on every important thing in my life... but most of those gave up on me, too.. so i don't have any strength to fight for anything anymore... The person I love the most isn't here with me in any way.. I let go of it.. and he did the same..  we've just gave up on each other..

So spring is my fav season maybe because of my birthday.. or maybe I like weather in spring it's not too hot but it isnt too cold.. it is perfect..

I started watching new series since the last time I spoke about some series I watch... there are new series...
First that became my fav after two episodes watched is Eye-candy on MTV.. than Hit the floor.. second best.. and I can't wait for new episodes in May.. It is on VH1, Than I'm watching Arrow, The Flash, Reign and I'm waiting for new serie to come up on the CW, I've watched How To Get Away With A Murder, I've started Happyland but it was cancelled and many other series.. I'm watching Open heart, Jane the Virgin, Faking it, Once upon a time, Sin Identidad and I'm not sure if I can list everything I watch..

So this is not long post, but i don't know what else to write...
Maybe I should post pics from last SOA party and yeah I totally forgot i have new hair cut so here is the photo with friends. 

I'm fine

The biggest lie ever and the most use is ''I'm fine''.














When someone ask you : How are you? or Are you okay?
They don't even care.. People just want to see you falling... So they will know they are above you..
I learnt that on hard way....
So pretending everything is okay is so hard... You have to smile everyday in front of people so they won't see how broken, sad and tired you are... When you come home you have to act in front of you family and you can't wait to go to bed... You are lying in your bed trying so bad to sleep.. but than everyting comes to you.. it hit you.. so you start crying and wishing you are dead... and you cry yourself to sleep after hours.... you wake up in the middle of the night, after some terrible dream... more like nightmare.. and you started remembering and crying again... so you cant sleep.. but you have to wake up in few hours to study for school and acting that everything is okay..
And person who did it all.. who made you that way.. doesnt seem to care...

You're everything I thought you never were
And nothing like I thought you could have been
But still you live inside of me,
So tell me how is that?

You're the only one I wish I could forget
The only one I love to not forgive
And though you break my heart,
You're the only one

And though there are times when I hate you

'Cause I can't erase

The times that you hurt me and put tears on my face

And even now, while I hate you,

It pains me to say

I know I'll be there at the end of the day

I don't wanna be without you, babe

I don't want a broken heart

Don't wanna take a breath without you, babe

I don't wanna play that part

I know that I love you, but let me just say

I don't wanna love you in no kind of way, no no

I don't want a broken heart

I don't wanna play the broken-hearted girl

No, no, no broken-hearted girl

I'm no broken-hearted girl...

You Got It All♥

I'm obsessed with Union J's song - You Got It All.. Video came out yesterday and i'm in love with lyrics.. This post will be just pictures, some quotes and maybe some lyrics.. I want to post pic from last #SOA party

      All in black

So my fav of all :

-Stefan: Every time I tell myself that I'm moving on, there's this part of me that just can't seem to shake her.

-Caroline: That's normal, Stefan. You guys were in love, and that doesn't go away just because you declare that you're moving on.

-Stefan: Well, then how does anyone ever seem to move on?

-Caroline: I don't know. I think that someday, you'll meet someone new and you'll fall madly in love, and you'll have moved on without even realizing it.

  These are my best friends and i needed to post this pics *__* 

                                                                                    ...... don't need to write anything pic said it all
 

                                           

Every f*cking time

School -.-

So school started two weeks ago and I went on SOA party with friend from school.. theme was High School... There was no dresscode but still we wore shirts and pants/skirts and ties or bows.. We had so much fun.. it was kpop/jpop/krock/jrock party :D so this post is short idk why, but i had to write it bcz someone asked me to haha I will put pics from that party, birthday party and first day of school.. :)

These are pics from b-day party 

This is first day of school.. 1st of September 

 

So I have to mention a few people that changed my summer, they made it way better and they made beginning of school easier.. so six days ago we celebrated two months knowing each other..

So pics from SOA party 

This ain't the end of us, darling let me show you I am good enough♥

Well... I haven't written here for month :o long time.. and it is holiday so idk why... but I guess I didn't have inspiration..

Hm.. first I have to say that I'm obsessed with 'Meet the Vamps' album and i'm listening it for hours and hours everyday... The best song is Oh Cecilia and Dangerous..  I rly like this band :D

I guess I still don't have inspiration, but i wanted to write about what happened this month since i haven't written anything... I rly hope that a person that I will write about don't see this post, bcz I think he will ask me some questions that i don't have answer and I think this post is kind of lame, bcz i wouldnt do this earlier... haha hmm I didn't like anyone for a year and it was really amazing year but still a little bit boring, I was concentrated on school like 100% and I didn't have to torture myself with some boy liking me or not..

So... after a year.. I started chatting with some guys and girls... that was on July 9th... we met them on some PLL fan group.. hmm DAMN to PLL.. PLL made me do crazy things in my life and i'm not regreting any of it...

We was chatting all day and all night... So I met one boy and we started to chat in private.. only two of us.. and first it was like a joke we were together, even we didnt know each other well... but the second we started knowing each other better... we made connection...haha we live in same country, but we are far away from each other... we've chatted about everything.. and I trust him with everything i tell him...
I started to like this boy, maybe I even love him if it is possible.. even if it isnt I still love him.. I would like him to write me more about himself and what is going on with his life... but that's not what is important...
haha I think I've changed.. He made me weaker and more romantic.. I REALLY DONT WANT TO BE LIKE THIS... I cry more.. It can't past a day without chatting with him or smth... but sometimes I'm sad.. bcz he has some other girl in his real life and i don't know whole story so i don't want to write about smth idk.. and she makes him sad.. I don't want him to be sad :S and I don't know what would I do if we stopped talking to each other.. we've had a lot of fights before.. and it sucked pretty much..
Hm I don't know what else to write.. I would really like to meet him in real and spend at least one day with him...Now is playing Oh Cecilia :3  heh what else I have to write is that he is an idiot haha at least he thinks that too... haha hmm just kidding he is really nice and caring person (and I rly hope he won't see this).. So I think he is my summer love (but we will continue to chat when school starts, I rly hope for that).
So I don't like this post.. bcz my inspiration is dead..
Tittle of this post is from song Dangerous - The Vamps ♥

Forever 21♥

So today is one of my role model's birthday. I have to dedicate at least one post to her.
Ariana Grande♥♥! i can't believe she is 21 already.. like wow :D she is growing up *__*
So if you are reading this and you dont know who is Ariana or how she looks just imagine a really beautiful, pretty and hot girl hehe :D 
First I want to thank her once again for following me on twitter and I will never forget that day, how I was happy about it and all day i was fangirling like crazyyy, I was screaming, singing and smiling.. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU♥!! Like i said she is my role model, I'm not trying to look like her, to dress like her or even to be like her, that's not the point having a role model (to me). SO I'm listening to her music ALL DAY.. WHOLE YOURS TRULY ALBUM on repeat!
Right now I'm listening to Almost is never enough :))

So let's speak about her music:
First single is Put Your Heart Up I really like this song and video of it :D
SO YOURS TRULY album hehe I really love every song on it. I can't say which song is my favourite but maybe Piano, Lovin' it and The Way♥
Next is Problem feat. Iggy Azalea sooo I ADORE THIS SONG AND VIDEO AND IGGY in it hehe♥

I think she has great, cute style first she was wearing cute dresses with even cuter print one that stayed in my mind is for Teen Choice Awards 2012 

So she is wearing cookies on her dress :D
And now she changed her style she is wearing a lot mature clothes hehe she wears beautiful dresses she looks older in them like this on KCA 2014 or her dress in Problem that black and white dress.. 

So I want to wish her Happy 21st Birthday!